Your parents flew more than a dozen hours to Greater Vancouver to be with you, and yet the first two or three weeks leave them more tired than they were back home — sleeping poorly, no appetite. It isn’t that Vancouver is bad for them. It’s that an older body hasn’t caught up with the jet lag, the damp cold, and the unfamiliar food. The answer is quieter than you’d expect: make the days a little warmer and a little slower, and use four small things — warm tea, soft food, walks, and companionship — to help settle both body and mood.
The day you picked them up at the airport, they were doing wonderfully. Suitcases stuffed with sausage and tea from home and new clothes for the grandkids, talking the whole way from YVR. But less than two weeks in, your mother is lying awake night after night, and your father says every dish is “fine” while leaving half his bowl. If you’ve ever brought your parents to stay in Richmond or Vancouver, this scene is probably familiar.
Why do visiting parents get sick more easily in Greater Vancouver?
Start with jet lag. Younger people shake it off in a few days; an older body resets its clock more slowly, and many families find their elders take a good deal longer. So you’ll see it: four in the morning, the kitchen light is on and your mother already has the congee going; by day they’re groggy, and by night wide awake as if working a graveyard shift. Sleep goes sideways, and appetite and mood follow.
Then there’s the weather. Vancouver’s cold isn’t the crisp cold of home — it’s a damp cold, wrapped in rain, that finds its way into your bones. In TCM, as we age, the body’s inner furnace already burns lower. Step from a well-heated house, or a subtropical hometown, straight into Vancouver’s rainy season, and the knees, the old back, and long-standing aches often complain before the mouth does.
The jet lag your parents are fighting isn’t only in the clock — it’s in decades of habit.
Not fussy eating — is it the digestion protesting?
Once you’re back at work, your parents’ lunch is often “whatever’s around”: last night’s leftovers, a supermarket rotisserie chicken, bread with a slice of meat; and at a restaurant, the first thing to arrive is a tall glass of ice water. In TCM, as a person ages, the “stove” of the spleen and stomach burns with a smaller flame, so cold and raw food is hard work to process while warm, soft food is easier. Not being used to the food isn’t fussiness — it’s the body telling the plain truth.
What helps is simple: a bowl of hot congee in the morning, a well-simmered soup at night, warm water instead of iced. Then keep a tea in their cup that suits their constitution — red date tea for those who feel cold with chilly hands and feet; chrysanthemum for dry eyes and irritability; dried tangerine peel or a slice of ginger for bloating and a poor appetite. (One reminder: if your parents are on long-term medication, especially blood thinners, check with their doctor before adding any herbal tea.)
A bowl of hot congee can’t chase away homesickness, but it can settle the homesick stomach first.
Why do parents keep saying “I’m fine”?
Harder to notice than jet lag or food is the part they don’t say. They don’t want to be a burden, so a sore back goes unmentioned, poor sleep goes unmentioned, and through the day they won’t even turn on a light.
And there’s loneliness. Once you leave in the morning, the house goes quiet except for the television. With the language barrier, no way to drive, and no nerve to take the SkyTrain alone, the family group chat on WeChat becomes their window on the world. TCM takes this seriously: worry and overthinking wear on the spleen, and loneliness drains the spirit — in plain words, a person who feels empty inside won’t have much appetite or sleep well either. Emotions were never outside of health; they sit right inside it.
When they say “I’m fine,” it’s usually because they can’t bear for you to have trouble.
Four gentle habits for visiting parents: warm tea, soft food, walks, companionship
Bring all of this down into everyday life and it’s really just four small things you can start this week:
- A cup of warm tea. Swap iced and cold drinks for something warm, and choose one herb to suit their constitution (red date / chrysanthemum / tangerine peel). It warms the digestion — and that chill in a damp Vancouver morning.
- A soft meal. Hot congee in the morning, a well-simmered soup at night; light on oil, warm and soft, small frequent meals. Gentler than a heavy spread, it nourishes qi and blood and makes for steadier sleep.
- A walk. After a meal, stroll fifteen to thirty minutes along the neighbourhood or the dyke, in no hurry. The walking moves the body and moves the qi and blood — one walk catches both “the body sitting still” and “the heart feeling alone.” When it’s cold or raining, go slower and mind your footing to avoid a fall.
- A share of your time. Ask them to teach you a dish you grew up eating; hand them the balcony plants to tend; go for dim sum together in Richmond on the weekend. Being needed is a deeply nourishing tonic for an elder.
The walk you take with your parents covers the path; what opens up is the words there wasn’t time to say all these years.
When should you take your parents to see a professional?
Everything above is everyday care, not a way to carry an illness. For urgent, serious problems — chest tightness or pain, sudden dizziness, a persistent fever — go to the ER or a doctor first. That step always comes before anything else.
If your parents’ poor sleep, low appetite, or aching back and legs lasts more than two weeks, or something new or worsening appears, don’t let them “tough it out” — book a family doctor or walk-in clinic for a check first. Once serious causes are ruled out and what’s left is years of built-up stiffness and strain, you can ask a registered TCM practitioner to take a look and treat TCM as a supplement to everyday care. Gentle approaches like tuina and acupuncture are ones many elders say help with long-standing stiffness, and find easier to accept.
FAQ
Q: Why do my parents seem to get sick more easily in the first weeks of visiting Greater Vancouver?
Older bodies reset their internal clock more slowly, so jet lag often lasts longer than it does for younger people. Add Vancouver’s rain-soaked damp cold and food they are not used to yet, and sleep and digestion tend to go off together. In TCM terms, the body simply hasn’t caught up with the change in environment. With steady routines, staying warm, and gentle food, most people come around gradually.
Q: My visiting parents aren’t used to the food here. How can I adjust things day to day?
Try “warm, soft, and small frequent meals”: a bowl of hot congee in the morning, a well-simmered soup at night, and warm water in place of iced. In TCM, an older person’s digestion runs on a smaller flame, so warm, soft, cooked food is easier to break down than cold or raw food — and easier to sleep on.
Q: My parents take medication long-term. Can I just make them wellness teas?
It’s wiser not to improvise. Herbal teas taken alongside long-term medication — especially blood thinners or blood-pressure drugs — can interact. Before adding any tea, check with their doctor or pharmacist first.
Q: My parents always say “I’m fine.” How do I know when to take them to see someone?
Let duration be your signal: poor sleep, low appetite, or aching back and legs lasting more than two weeks, or anything new or worsening, means don’t wait. For urgent problems — chest tightness or pain, sudden dizziness, a persistent fever — go to the ER or a family doctor first. Once serious causes are ruled out and what’s left is old, built-up stiffness and strain, a registered TCM practitioner can help as a supplement to everyday care.
A closing note
After twenty years in the treatment room, I keep coming back to one thing: for the elders who come to see me, half of what we tend to is the body, and the other half is the mood. Your parents flew more than a dozen hours to see you — so give them more than a guest room; remember to set aside a stretch of your time, too. You can start tonight: a cup of warm tea, and a walk after dinner.
If you’d like a professional to take a look at your parents’ constitution and their muscles and joints, Sky TCM Acupuncture & Wellness (Sky 中医养生诊所) is in Continental Centre in Richmond, at 3779 Sexsmith Rd, Unit 1138, Richmond, BC V6X 3Y6, led by registered TCM practitioner Dr. Judy Chu, R.Ac (registered with the CTCMA of BC, with 20 years of clinical practice in Taiwan). To book or just ask a couple of questions, call 778-681-8886; we’ll confirm hours with you when you book.
